Anything But Clothes

Welp, there comes a time in all of our lives (or maybe just some?) where we must brave the social awkwardness that is the theme party. I feel like this milestone was a little late for me, but that suited me just fine. I have seen facebook pictures of parties with as many themes as you can think of, such as jungle, army, and even twins. That one was especially strange. But the most intriguing one in my opinion is the ABC party, or for those of you too lazy to use urbandictionary.com, the anything-but-clothes party. As opposed to any other party, where you might just pick out a piece of clothing from your closet that loosely suits the theme, this theme purposely takes the closet out of the equation. You are not allowed to wear (or at least show) anything that counts as clothing in the normal sense. You can make clothing out of anything else you can think of, including but not limited to:

• wrapping paper
• shower curtains
• toilet paper
• condoms (a la 'abc party' on tumblr)
• beer boxes or other boxes in general
• playing cards
• CDs (lord knows they have no other purpose now)
• twister mats
• bandanas
• balloons
• hula skirts
• shopping bags/gift bags (the less flimsy and transparent, the better for the other party-goers)
• newspaper
• candy wrappers
• or for the truly un-creative: drapes, bedsheets, and blankets

There were some very cool inventions, not the least of which was the two hostesses, dressed in matching dark grey pillow cases (of a classy length to be sure) and large fleshy fake ears. House elves! As the official after-party cleaners, it makes perfect sense. And as we all know, if you give a house elf a piece of clothing, they're free. So don't give them any clothing.

And for my outfit. I borrowed some supplies from work to make this monstrosity. The first step was using a hole punch to make holes in one side of each lid (I cringe at the thought of counting them but I will guess around 70?). You may recognize these lids from your grande iced coffee with three extra espresso shots or vanilla bean frappuccino with chocolate chips. :)

Beautiful but back-breaking

After that came the top portion, made of pastry bags. Makes me look like I rolled around in trash, but hey, that's the point, right?

before I cut the sweetheart neckline :)

And for the finished product:

I will offer word to the wise that it was not a smart idea to tape the lower portion of the skirt right to my leggings, because going to the bathroom two drinks later was quite a challenge. Not even to mention the subway ride. But that's the price you pay. I definitely don't regret it. So how much do you think someone would pay for this? Let's start the bidding!

And when I got home around 3, I had patience for nothing but the scissors.

I can rebuild it if someone wants to pay me! Seriously!